Next!!!

Have learned to dance in the rain, not curse it; have learned to move on, not dwell on stuff; have learned to enjoy each minute and appreciate those I love... Next!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Baby Ali Now


Yay! Everyone is well and happy and wrapping up 2009 in the Trevor & Sarah Cross family! We had quite to scare with Baby Alli last month. Life flight from MacKay Dee to Primary Children's Hospital, a week in the hospital and 21 days of PICC line antibiotics. Fun. Bills keep coming in. Over $8000 for the life flight ride. This could be devastating financially. However, Alli is 12 1/2 pounds now and doing well! Here she is with mommy and daddy and sister Mia 6 and brother Aidan 2. Mommy gave all the kids nicknames recently. Mia is Weasel, Aidan is Crash and Alli is Squirt. I'm thinking we may need to ammend Alli's nickname as she gets older and expresses herself. But for now the other 2's names fit them perfectly. Mia is plotting how to rule the world soon and Aidan has chipped everyone of his upper front teeth. As you can imagine, he climbs on everything and thinks everything with wheels is a skateboard. Of course we are leaving out the other things he has broken! So we look forward to a new year with less scary surprises!

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Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Thanks Alex!

http://www.advancedbrain.com/soundheath/music-to-de-stress.html Right off I know this should be a blog post, but I'll start it here! We have been through trauma, drama and crisis as a family since very early Thanksgiving morning this year as a family. Our baby Ali, 8 weeks old was failing and was saved by the quick actions of her father and mother, Trevor and Sarah Cross and all kinds of other people, family, friends, trained professionals at MacKay Dee & Primary Childrens' Hospital and the Life Flight Crew. We have been through a lot with this little girl and finally got to take her home today, nearly a week later.
We put Ali in her car seat in my uber-clean Tundra and all the other things from the hospital and then her mother had to get a prescription filled at the hospital pharmacy. I drove around the parking garage which generally soothes my kids but only aggravated Ali. By the time her mom returned, she was caterwauling. (My southern mothers term for crying fit!) Sarah calmed her by nursing her and then we left the hospital area.
Part way through downtown Salt Lake City, Sarah realized we had forgotten to get the bottles of breast milk she had pumped and I told her you really don't want to lose that. Gave her lots of scenarios as I am want to do. We turned around and headed back.
Remembering how this little munchkin had been stressed without her mother while I drove around the last time, I looked through my CD's to find calming music. I thought Enya would be nice but didn't recall which CD's were handy in my case.
Sarah MacLachlan? She is mellow, but kind of depressing and we don't need that. Allison Krausse? Love a few of her songs but not most. Then I found a CD my massage therapist had given me and calmed me, Suzanne Cezani. Cool! That will work. I plugged it in. Ali was sleeping.
Sarah left to recover her milk and that just sounds funny and Ali started to fuss. Crap. I grabbed my CD case to see what else was in there and damn! There was my De-Stressed CD from my friend, Alex Doman! I switched them quickly as Ali's volume was increasing.
Slow, gentle melodic music started and Ali was not impressed. She was crying in the back like she had the last time. I continued to circle the aisles in the parking garage at PCH and turned the volume up a bit on the viola or cello that was playing. Waves from the sea crashed through the speakers and Ali, lowered her pitch. More sweet, calming music played and she lessened her efforts to squawk. I drove more slowly and turned in less rigorous curves and turned the volume up just a tad more.
Baby Ali stopped fussing and calmed herself in the back seat. I couldn't see her or touch her as I would have at home, but the music did. By the time Sarah returned Ali, fussed just a bit and calmed.
I give Alex Doman and his wonderful people at Advanced Brain the credit. A very experienced grandma can only do so much under some circumstances and that is when real talent and gifts come into play! thank you Alex and www.advancedbrain.com. You made our day today!

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Saturday, November 28, 2009

Why I am a Mother 9 times and more...

Thinking about what I am thankful for this time of year, I always think about motherhood. Coming from a big family and having one, I have heard everything rude you can imagine about having kids, including the perennial, 'Don't you know what causes that?' Discusting ignorance from idoit clowns. I've also been told I am a saint. I like that one. It tends to come from Catholics.

Believe me, I gave it great thought as a kid myself. I was a psuedo-parent my whole life. Gave up my childhood to feed, change diapers, bathe, dress and play with kids I did not bring into the world myself. My few belongings tended to get ruined or taken. My time was very rarely my own. And I didn't have much because at that time it was shared by many... what there was to share. I was Mom's assistant when taking care of kids I also cooked for the whole bunch and represented us working in the snack shops for Little League Baseball for my brothers where I invented and perfected the 'Suicide' soda drink. That was so we could afford to put the boys in ball. A parent had to volunteer. That was me. Also pitched in subbing as a Primary teacher as soon as I graduated from Primary, for Mom and then for her other teachers and worked in Primary until they changed to the block schedule. Then there was the food co-op. Some of my sibs helped too. But so Mom didn't have to go I did. So after giving the bulk of what free time I might have had growing up, to the care of other people's children, why did I have my own and so many of them?

I decided when I was 13, 2 things. I decided to remain a virgin til marriage and to have a large family of children and kept those 2 goals til fruition. About the large family, no matter how hard Mom worked, I saw her face when her children excelled and did wonderful things and how impressed she was by them. She would throw her head back, wide-eyed and put her hand over her mouth in exclamation. If you saw her do it once, you know she did it consistently when impressed. Dad even caught it in a picture once when Derek came into the room Christmas morning in a new suit about 1973 I think. It was a memory burned in my mind for good. It embodied all that was surprising and good in parenthood.

As a parent you can work hard, unappreciated for long periods of time, even with agressively ungrateful kids and keep doing your best, because they are your children. You brought them into the world and are committed to being the best parent you can. You are committed to keeping them safe, even from themselves. You teach them the fun things like walking and doing stairs and all the new words and phrases they will pick up. You guide them from their natural selfishness to how to be social, share and even watch out for others. Some are better at learning adopting an unselfish attitude than others, but you still work with them and patiently wait for them to get it. All along the way, you can choose to learn and improve as a parent for your kids.

When you have more than just one child, you hope they will appreciate the blessing of brothers and/or sisters. You hope they will understand the gift friendship, with someone from you family can be. They may have a different perspective on your family and even you, but the support from understanding, can be tremendous help. You hope when one is in trouble, the others will rush in with compassion, looking for ways to help, then do so. You hope that when one accomplishes something, the others will celebrate with them in various, non-illegal ways. You hope if one has an advantage, that will help another, it will be offered and used, without hesitation. You hope when mistakes are made, they are forgiven by the victim and not repeated, but amended, by the offender and forgotten and not brought up thereafter, by anyone else. You hope, that each will include one or more sibling in opportunities to spend time together and be thoughtful with each other. (Almost like how we treat the planet, gently.)

Atleast, that is how I feel as a parent. I gave birth to one son and committed to be his mother for the rest of his life. Then I did the same thing, 8 more times. I meant to have a large family. I believe that no matter what happens to each of us, we all have each other for love, support, understanding and to have fun with. As all my children have gotten older, I see interpersonal relationships developing, in all directions and it is fascinating and fun to watch. How fulfilling for me though, to be in the middle of all the goings on. To see the lives unfold and be part of the humor and successes. To help when needed, listening, dispensing percieved wisdom of experience, strategizing and recieving help when I need it too.

All in all, I have never regretted having one single kid, not ever, not even a little bit. The decision I made 41 years ago, still stands, no matter what. And as long as I am on this planet, in this lifetime, it will continue to stand. And, I might add, as my children draw others into this circle, named Team Cross a couple of years ago, the Cross Clan, as I think of it, I can be mom to them too, if they want. It doesn't detract from how I feel about my own kids, it adds to it.

Mother love is not a pie cut into so many pieces for each person. It is infinite and grows as needed, as much or more so than needed. There is plenty for all.

With all that has gone on this holiday with Ali's crisis, I've been thinking about how I feel about my children and kids in general and maybe this will give you a bit of an idea, why, at Thanksgiving and all through every year, I am so grateful for the honor of being a mother and doubt I will ever do anything, in my entire life, as noble, as being a mother to Jason, Trevor, David, Stephan, Alex, Tegan, Josh, Adam, Danica and their entourages and others who choose it too. And my greatest gift to each of my children since birth is the gift of each other.

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Friday, November 27, 2009

Well I can tell a story...

Sparing no details in this story, I'll make this a bit shorter. My intent in sharing, is that other parents and caregivers can learn. We still aren't sure the reason Ali got so sick so fast other than that's what happens with infants get sick. They don't take days like adults. An adult might feel a little off one day, get a cough or runny nose the next and maybe a fever or diarrhea after that, kind of thing. A baby will be a bit off and in hours turn BLUE! I left a baby who had just had 1/3 of a bottle and was a bit perkier and in hours she was blue and rushing to MacKay Dee Hospital.

When I got to the hospital, (if you don't want this mental picture don't read til the ink color changes.) there were 10 people hovering around Ali, her little head was tipped back and dark and bright blue and purple and her lips were black. She was leaving the planet and I knew it.

A nurse was holding a sobbing Sarah and another one told me, "we are trying to keep her." Meaning Ali. She was critical and without medical assistance would clearly not be with us today.


When you bring an infant into an emergency room with a life threatening crisis with no idea what caused it, they will throw everything they have at it. They sedated Ali with morphine, hooked her up to IV's in her head and wrist to give her sugar water and antibiotics. Monitors and a breathing tube so they could keep her breathing when she stopped doing it herself. They made it clear, that's where she was headed, as if we couldn't see that ourselves. I called to get Danica watching Mia and Aidan so Trevor could be there as he needed to be part of the decisions and a couple should be together through things like this. (Another story from personal experience, for later.)


By the time we got Trevor there, the helicopter was warmed up to transport Ali to Primary Children's Hospital (PCH) and the staff was working hard to get her as ready as possible for that move. They said they don't have pediatric intensive care at MacKay Dee like they do at PCH, although we are very impressed with them. The Life Flight crew got the helicopter ready and off baby Ali went, with her life in a completely precarious place. I drove Trevor and Sarah to PCH.

Monitors for heart, oxygen and breathing may have been on her at MacKay Dee, but definitely were in Primary Children's Hospital. When we got there, she already looked better... pale but not how she had looked. They tested blood, urine, stool and even did a spinal tap hopefully to rule out menengitis. Scary stuff. Her caregivers are amazingly talents and serious professionals. It is 2 days later and we still don't know what is wrong.

Baby Ali is better. Still on an IV with antibiotics and fluids, but Sarah, who has not left the hospital in 3 days, is nursing her again. This details of the story are plenty, but the main thing I want to share is how illness can happen in an infant.

You see, when adults get sick, they may feel off a day, then have a scratchy throat or runny nose or something annoying the next day and maybe day three gives them a fever, diahhrea or something.

Babies may act a little off and in a couple of hours, turn blue-ish with their eyes rolling back in their heads. Gastro enteritis or the stomach flu is not a big deal generally in adults, but... It is the number 1 killer of babies in the world! I had no idea! It hits fast and putting off getting medical care makes the difference in life and death and I am not exaggerating. It doesn't end badly in America as often due to fast response of emergency room personnel, but babies have to get there fast enough. Believe me, I attribute the fabulous health of my children to not vaccinating them, feeding them healthy food and filtered water, sunshine and outdoor exercise and old, old fashioned good sense. We use vitamins and supplements. I make tinctures and salves and grow fresh herbs and the list goes on and on of natural good things we do to maintain good health.

But today, again, I am grateful for sharp medical professionals who do their jobs well and quickly. I know without Sarah, intuitively knowing something was 'off' with her baby and getting to a hospital, Ali would not be here today.

Being a parent is the toughest job ever. Period. And being a good one takes all you have and more. I know this one. When caring for children, stay aware and on top of things. That's how we keep them here! I am happy to be one of those you call when you aren't sure what to do! I have sure had my share of injuries and occasionally, the odd illness with kids!

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What I'm Thankful for this Thanksgiving


Baby Ali has been a titch congested for a few days and her mom, Sarah has given her vitamin C and things and watched over her hoping she would get better. Twice in the night she's called me stressed, so I hung out in the wee hours holding her baby, spelling Sarah to shower the spit up off and stretch achy 'holding the baby all day and night' muscles. My #2 son Trevor, has been right there all along, concerned, helping and supportive of his little wife and baby. One of those calls was Thanksgiving morning 4:32. "She's losing weight, Mom." And I could see she had thinned a bit from her 'gettin' a bit chubby' body!
Holding Ali, I sent Sarah off to shower and used all my copious baby experience, to calm this little one. I wrapped her snuggly, in a bright pink blankie, with rosebud embroidery. I put her over my shoulder and gently bounced her, laid her tummy down across my knees, releasing a nice burb and thought now we're getting somewhere! That had to feel better for the little girl. Sarah came back with damp hair, a titch rejuvenated. She had been nursing and trying to nurse Ali since 1am that morning and all Ali did wa spit it all back up. As much as I hated to do it, I said, 'Maybe we should try a little formula and give you a break for a moment.' My distrust of formula companies did not outweigh my wondering if all the stress of a fussy baby was curdling her milk! Hey, they did wake me in the middle of the night, for this!
Looking over her selection of free formula samples I mentioned Alimentum which had helped my baby girl, Danica thrive. (Another story) Andrew, who was a houseguest, offered to run to Wal-mart to get some. "It's pretty expensive. Do you want some money?" "No. I'm good," he said. And the little girl drank 1/3 of a small bottle and I thought, much better little girl, and went home! I ran some things for Thanksgiving to Tegan's house and had just laid down for a few minutes when Trevor called to say Andrew ran Sarah and the baby to MacKay Dee Hospital because her coloring was off and she didn't look good. Would I run up there to help.
Let me define 'help.' We are a natural health family. We read, research, pay attention and are responsible for our own health and each others. We share experience and suppliments and whatever is needed. We do NOT vaccinate ever. (Another story) We have a very clear understanding of the terms 'nosocimial' and iatrogenic''. Even if I don't know how to spell them. they are respectively 'hospital induced illness' and 'doctor induced disease.' We don't believe the medical community has a clue what 'health care' is but do know, when things get bad, they are great at saving people. And that's what Ali needed. Was to be saved...

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Am I on Track Business-wise?

Green means good to go—congratulations! Overall, your answers fall well within the realm of successful entrepreneurial attitudes. You’ve got a great appetite and want to take a big bite out of bootstrapping. You are ready to take your strengths and make something of them. Also, you recognize your weaknesses and are able to compensate. This is a recipe for startup success. We encourage your efforts and look forward to hearing about your triumps! http://bootstrapbusiness.org/thank_you.php

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Monday, November 16, 2009

Today's Mama Holiday Contest!


I found this in my email today and thought I'd enter and share:


Mama’s Holiday Wish List Giveaway
The holiday season is wonderful. Full of joy, wonder...and work. Especially if you have a handmade holiday in mind. We want to make the season a bit easier on you by giving away a sleighful of gifts that only a mother could love. Our “sleigh” is a Madsen Bike filled with gifts and goodies from Provo Craft to help you create those handmade projects including a Yudu screen-printing machine, a Cuttlebug, a Cricut Expression Machine, a Your Story thermal book binder, and a Knifty Knitter loom set. That’s not all - we’ve got treasures galore - a Dyson Blueprint, an Easy Walker Sky stroller from MamaBargains.com, two Sidekick baby carrier bags from Kemby and an Amber Alert GPS unit and a full year of service.That’s over $3,800 in gifts!

Entering this contest is easy and fun. Just answer and post the meme below on your blog and send us the link. (Don’t have a blog, no problem! You can post this as a note in Facebook and send us the link too.)To participate you must include all of the text, including the links, in bold below:Mama’s Holiday Wish List MemeTodaysMama and Provo Craft are giving away a sleighful of gifts this holiday season and to enter I’m sharing this meme with you.

1. What 5 items are on your holiday wish list this year? My family, (read kids) gathered, Lots of yummy homemade food, A gathering of girlfriends so I can share the gifts I've made for them, A fresh tree from Idaho again this year and A full body massage for me!

2. What is your favorite handmade gift you have received? A marionette donkey when I was in the 5th grade. Named him Pembroke and played with him for years!

3. What handmade gift have you always wanted to tackle? Working on embroidering the top of a duvet cover. Started last year! Still working on it!

4. What was the best Christmas gift you received as a child? A new bike when I was 8!

5. What items are on your kid’s wish list this year? Clothes, clothes and more clothes and a season pass to Brighton for Adam!

6. What is your favorite holiday food? Candied yams... yum!

7. What will you be hand-crafting for the holidays? Everything! I grew herbs and dried them, made savory oil, crocheted a rug and am working on other projects. Wish I had a sewing machine.

8. What is your favorite holiday movie? Actually might be Home Alone!

9. Favorite holiday song? Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

10. Favorite holiday pastime? Gathering family and/or friends together

Click here to see an example.Send us a link to your post via email with “Wish List Meme” in the subject line. You can even tag a few friends to participate in the meme. (Spread that holiday cheer!) Thanks to all of our generous sponsors that helped make Mama’s Holiday Wishlist possible!

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009


Thoughts become reality. If you think it, it will happen. Worry is negative prayer. You draw to yourself, that that consumes your thoughts.
A friend asked me about Chapter 11 in Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich thinking it is New Agey and he's not sure about all that stuff.

More than new agey it is quantum mechanics/physics and works. the challenge is finding all the programs running deep within you that have nothing to do with conscious thought. I'll let you think about that. But here are the clues: If your child says, 'I need braces,' what are the first thoughts that race through your head? If your partner says, 'We should move to a nicer house,' what thoughts are the first to hit you? If a pal asks to borrow $25,000 but they aren't sure when/if they can pay you back, what goes through your mind?
Not things like, 'Hell no,' 'You must be out of your mind,' or 'Don't be ridiculous!' More like, 'Money doesn't grow on trees,' 'Do you think I'm made of money?' 'How hard would I have to work to earn that much money?'
You may really be surprised at what surfaces. Once you have a bit of a list, there are ways to dispel them.
I went through extensive training and am a certified theta therapist! Try finding info on that, that makes any sense! It is simply a process of going into theta brain waves, on purpose, to affect immediate or fast change, even on a cellular level. It was costly and time-consuming training and I have taught many people how to do it themselves to be empowered with their own health and well-being at a mere fraction of the cost.

Are you familiar with kinesiology? It is a method of testing your body as the body does not lie, fabricate or qualify truth. You can find out about your health and base beliefs through muscle testing and it is quite fascinating actually.
Now you may think this is of the devil, but I assure you it is science and it works and very simply, too! And I work on people remotely as we are all connected and do not need to be in the same room.
Not New Age, not religious, not voodoo, but science. Just science.
Aren't you glad he asked?!!!
#10 on NH's list is 'Truth is truth, regardless of a closed mind, ignorance or a refusal to believe!'