Chicago... my hometown... sooooooooooo homesick for the place and the people. Heidi went there all by herself last year. Without me. Well, we didn't know each other and I was tied up at the time. Well, I'm not tied up now and I'm goin! Haven't figured out when exactly, but this is the year! Wanna see Navy Pier and the Art Institute and my old neighborhoods... I'm a little afraid of the cold cuz you know how much I hate it!!! But the people... the best in the world. You'd never have a news story like this in the Chicago Trib, but it was in the SLC Trib: Why Rednecks Can't Be Paramedics

A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them
suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be
breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other redneck whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to
the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and
follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence..........then a shot is heard.

The redneck's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what ?"